it's HAMMER time...

WOW, it's been forevs since I blogged. I've been mourning the loss of my 20's and my arches...

My feet have been really hurting me since I moved to Kuwait and I kinda chalked it up to walking around on tile all the time... I had them checked out twice while I was Houston and if I had known the news the Dr. was going to give me I would have just put up with the pain.

I'd never been to the foot doctor before. I've never had any foot problems, I thought only old people had those?? My first visit fell a little short of my expectations. While I waited for the Dr. I caught up on my celeb gossip and tried to imagine the worst news that I would hear today: No more high heels.

I don't normally wear high heels in Kuwait, mostly b/c I'm inside all the time and they don't really go with my bathrobe. But up until this point, I didn't even own a pair of flats, much less any kind of sensible supportive shoe.

So I'm sitting on this little short table waiting for the doctor to come see me and looking at my feet stretched out in front of me. Dammit, shoulda gotten a pedicure. oops. He enters the room and introduces himself and immediately sits down and gets to work. He's bending my foot this way and that way and looks up at me, "Are your feet normally sweaty or are you just nervous?" <----WHAT???!! I wish I could have seen my face while my brain processed this question and then blurted out, "it's my first time, just nervous, i guess..." I had an Ally McBeal moment where I imagined leaning back on my hands and slapping him with my feet until he was spinning wildly in his little doctor chair.

He asked me a few other questions but I can't even remember what b/c half my brain was talking to my feet asking them to please turn off the water works and be on their best behavior.

Diagnosis: Short achilles tendon and hammer toes (yeah, that's right, HAMMER toes. sexy, right??)

He gave me a sheet of paper with exercises to help lengthen my tendon, wrote me a prescription for anti inflammatories, and then...the dagger in the heart, orthopedic shoes.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! He could tell by the horrific look on my face and the tears stinging the backs of my eyes that this was not positive news to me. I mean, sure, I'll do some stretches and yada yada, but DUUUUUDE - this was a death sentence.

He explained to me that I had put my feet in 'casts' (high heels) for the last 6 years and the pain I was experiencing was a result of NOT wearing high heels anymore!!! HUH? Dude, I can put my heels back on and we can pretend this never happened... No? That's not a solution? What? Orthopedics are my only option?

**I had a mini flashback to my first job out of college. The older ladies in the office that wore those short, chunky heels used to always tell me how they used to wear stilettos and that I should 'enjoy it while I can'. Why didn't they tell me the ugly truth??  Why did no one roll down their knee highs and show a young, impressionable girl the reality of the relationship between sky high heels and the inevitable hammer toe??**

To make things worse, the doctor himself pulled off his shoe and showed me that he too wore orthopedic inserts. Awesome. I left the office with my prescription and sat in the car in the parking lot. I looked at the 'bag of bones' that are my feet (yea, he called them that) and cried... I thought about all the things he had said to me. I stopped crying briefly when I remembered he told me that I could still wear high heels.... on special occasions... like my birthday... <----that's only ONCE A YEAR! more crying...

Ok, ok, ok, ok... I eventually pulled myself together... I've been in pain for months and the only way to correct this problem is to tackle it. With a very unattractive and supportive shoe.

I am now the not-so-proud-owner of a pair of orthopedic flip flops (yea, they make those), 2 pairs of supportive flats, orthopedic cross trainers, and a variety of orthopedic inserts.  Yup, there goes all my bday money.  poopers...

Month 1 in Houston

Wow… I’ve been in Houston for a month and it’s been absolutely BONKERS! I’ve seen the fam, played with friends, missed my adorable husband to the nth degree, rubbed baby bumps, cleaned up baby dumps, shopped my tooter off, drove about 4 cars that don’t belong to me, made multiple trips to the post office (duh, gotsta ship that LOOT!), drank more wine and liquor than one should on a healthy diet, skipped workouts, had my hair did (WAAAY overdue!), baby showered, happy houred, attended 2 weddings in the SAME day, danced at every possible occasion, had lazy days with my stay-at-homers, soaked up the Texas sun out by the pool, caught up on all my fav shows, ate pork for about 2 straight weeks, celebrated birthdays, toasted good friends, had my toes did, made cake balls AND cake pops (don’t ask), signed up for a power pump class that ended up being ‘Baila for the family’ and didn’t leave, attended numerous cooking classes, manned the family biz, played in the rain, made several trips to the airport and only got lost once, taken a road trip to Galveston with a dear friend and never left the hotel room (catching up can take FOREVS!), slept in beds that aren’t mine and occasionally couches, felt like a nomad…

I really can’t believe I’ll be in Houston until Oct 17^th. This was definitely NOT planned, albeit a HUGE blessing.  The whole reason I was even supposed to make this trip was to accompany muh hubs, then when his trip fell through he sent me anyway…. Hmmmm??  The truth is, I would more than likely have been put in jail for snagging a sip of water while laying out by the pool or perhaps eating almonds out of my pocket whilst perusing the mall. Ramadan is no joke. 

How ‘bout this?? Peterpop gets a phone call just 2 days after I leave notifying him of a training IN HOUSTON they want to send him to…. Perf… I was supposed to be returning to Kuwait Sept 4^th and then back to the states for Peter’s training Sept 23^rd???? While I do enjoy airline food and catching up on movies – that trip is just WAAY too long to make twice in one month. Sooooooo, here I am, patiently waiting for my man to join me so we can return together (He’s such a good sport). 

I can’t help but miss my life in Kuwait tho… Petercakes, routine, my bed, friends that will prolly have forgotten about me by the time I return (Oh God, please don’t!).  I’ve just learned that one of my close friends in Kuwait will be returning to the states before December and I’m praying this is just a nasty joke she’s trying to pull… This woman saved me…  I found her through her blog.  After reading for about 3 hours I already had a baby crush on her… I had to make contact! I had been to the American Women’s League and British Ladies Society and hadn’t had any real bites.  I sent her an email, which I’m sure she read as a very real cry for help… I described my experience in Kuwait thus far and also mentioned that I didn’t have a car, or a life, really….

We met for dinner. Peterpie dropped me off. It’s like I’m in junior high again…. At least now I have a cell phone so I can text for a pickup… We dined and chatted for 3 hours, or was it 4???  She was so interesting and funny and to this day, I know God virtually placed her on the Internet for me to stumble across.  A fellow American, already settled in Kuwait but just as jaded as a newby, she threw me arm floaties just before I thought I was going to go under.  She told me to suck it up, she didn’t feel sorry for me… and that’s when I really started to embrace my life in Kuwait.  She even gave me the opportunity to do for someone else what she had done for me, and that little nugget has turned into a beautiful friendship as well. 

I feel like today is Thanksgiving or something. Like I should list out all the things that I’m truly grateful for and then ponder on them all day… It’s weird how gratefulness can just pour over you sometimes. When I first got back to Htown, my mother-in-law let me use her car (which was my car before I left – the precious woman bought it off of me!)… soooo, I’m driving (which I hadn’t done in 5 months) and I’m jamming to music, really belting it out and flexing my lungs, the sunroof is open and I have shopping bags in the back… Another car passes me on the freeway with this awesome dog in the backseat, he’s got his head out the window and his tongue is free flying out of his mouth and he’s got this big toothy smile on his face.  He looked me right in my eyeball, and I knew we were both on cloud nine. I turned down the music and I just reflected on my life at that very moment and totally teared up. I thanked God for everything I have been blessed with and then I called my precious husband to tell him how much I love and miss him.  A similar experience happened when we were in Bahrain… I started crying in the sushi line at this unbelievable brunch we ate at… I’m such a sap! The guy in front of me was prolly like ‘take it easy sister, I’m sure there will be some left by the time u get up there…’  But I was having a moment… I’m sure he wouldn’t have understood…

But it feels so good to get carried away sometimes… so I’m counting down the days until my boo gets here and I’m going to make every day count!  I might even stick my head out the backseat window and let my tongue slap the side of my face! it’s been awhile…

it's peanut butta jelly time!

Peanut butta jelly time, peanut butta jelly time!

Whur he at? Whur he at? Whur he at? Whur he at?

Thur he go! Thur he go! Thur he go! Thur he go!

Peanut butta jelly, peanut butta jelly, peanut butta jelly, peanut butta jelly

Do the peanut butta jelly, peanut butta jelly, peanut butta jelly wit a baseball bat!

Do the peanut butta jelly, peanut butta jelly, peanut butta jelly wit a baseball bat!!

.....HOKAY, I've totally had this song in my head, and yes, I walk around the house doin my thang and shakin my 'peanut butta jelly' when it's necessary (which this past week has been quite often). Reason being - that's all Peter and I are going to be eating b/c of the recent purchases we've made...

I never anticipated needing so much furniture once we got settled over here. But I seriously NEED it... like I dream about that adorable little chair that I can place in the corner of my room (at a very slight angle of course) that I can lounge in and sip my morning coffee and gaze out at the sea. Plus we need furniture that can survive a few more moves - so I'm not thinking IKEA people. They just opened up a Pottery Barn here and it's going to be the death of me... I just know it! We went last night with the intention of buying a few rugs I've had my eye on and they took FOREVS to get them pulled from the back and to ring us up.... so while Peter sat on outdoor furniture with his head in his hands, I was running around like a madwoman and ended up finding a few MORE things that I couldn't live without - whatever, no buyers remorse here! They were on sale and he'll thank me later...

We still need some big pieces of furniture but the prices over here are just RIDIC! I know how much these pieces cost back in the states and what's worse is some of them even still have the US$ amount still on the price tag next to the KD price - ummmm, are you TRYING to turn Americans off of buying your products?? The lady at the checkout was super nice, she kept apologizing about the long wait (mostly b/c Peterpie looked like he had been dragged through a Babies R Us or something). We're having the large rugs delivered to our place in the next few days so she took our address...

'Mahboula,' I started...

She giggled, 'I'm sorry, Mahboula have very funny meaning in Arabic language.'

So... There it is... I live in 'Crazy Lady' town... ON PURPOSE! I informed her that I was aware of the meaning. No smile on my face this time sister. Let's pack this stuff up and finish this transaction so I can go get muh husband a snack to cheer him up.

We ate at P.F. Chang's... DIVINE! Then I dragged him to IKEA to look at cheap stuff... Man, he's a good sport! I kept reminding him that I don't get out much and that this was SOO much fun! Sometimes I think that if I tell Peter how much fun I'm having over and over and over again that my good times will rub off on him and we can enjoy shopping experiences like this TOGETHER. But shopping for furni right now is just a necessary evil! We need stuff! I don't have a car! I don't have money! So that means when Peter's home it's time for ME to take care of business... and you really have to put the legwork into finding good pieces b/c unless you want a teal sectional made out of crushed velvet sitting on gold feet, you really have to look...

I know, I know... I was the owner of two purple couches before I moved here, so I should love this stuff, right? I still miss big (and lil) purp... but the tacky stops here. This is the first place I've ever had that is my space (I mean, I know it's Peter's too - but I spend my whole life in this place) so I'm taking the time to pick out things I love and things I won't mind having around for, well, a really long time anyway.

Anypoops, here comes the bad news. Peter can't come home in August! :-((((((( This breaks my heart into teeny tiny little pieces! I mean, I knew it was a possibility but I guess I was just being hopeful... Now I can't decide when to leave or for how long b/c I really don't want to leave him. I've been so excited for this trip! It's still going to happen... but I'm just disappointed! Peter won't be able to come home until Christmas now, bless his heart. I guess I'll have to fill up a big 'ol suitcase of his faves to bring back with me! ;-)

Please start saying prayers NOW that I don't get stopped going through customes. I wasn't so lucky coming back from Jordan... BOOO!!!

Kuwaiting to Exhale

WHEEEW!!!!! It's gettin HOT over here peeps... I have to refrain myself from commenting on every fb post I see complaining about the weather in the states... It's over 120 degrees here during the day and then cools down to a miserable 110 in the evenings. Peter and I were walking to our car after eating out for dinner and it felt like we were walking next to a campfire. :-/ I spend most of my time in our freezing apartment (Peter likes to see his breath when he wakes up, forcing me to wear sweats in the middle of the summer) but when I venture outdoors the heat and the humidity is just shocking!

Not only is it hot, but it freakin STINKS! I noticed it when we first got here - waking up in the morning to a slight stench that I mentally blamed Peter for... but after stepping outside I realized it was the air! Gag... There's a major sewage prob here and the low tides and high temps in the summer make for a pooptastic outdoor experience.

I try to lay out 2 times a week just to get some sun on my cheeks and reduce the skin tone margin between me and muh husband. But lately, I can't stand more than about an hour, and that's with a dunk in the pool every 15 mins or so. The place we live in only rents to Westerners, so I'm free to wear my 2-piece and pretty much carry on like I would at home... but the other residents have to think I'm crazy... I'm the only one out by the pool (which is disappointing b/c I was hoping to make some poolside friends). The heat, humidity, stink, and desert wind keep most of my neighbies indoors - but NOOOOOO, not me. I lay out by our massive pool all alone, chugging water, reading whilst wiping sweat out of my eyes and occasionally looking up into other people's apartments... I'm such a creeper...

I can only imagine what I look like... the wind whipping my pony tail against my face and swirling the pieces that refused to be restrained into a gravity defying hairdo, taking small breaths through my mouth to avoid the smell of Kuwait's dirty diaper, frequently turning so the wading pool that is my belly button may empty itself - the sacrifices a sun goddess must make to achieve a golden tan... *SIGH*

I tried to wear my big floppy hat out once to channel my inner SATC but that was a complete disaster... I'm sure that was an entertaining afternoon for my shut-in neighbors who watched the sweaty American chase her hat all around the pool and then settle for holding it on her head while attempting to look relaxed as the wind clapped the brim against her face over and over and OVER.

I know the fact that I actually WANT a tan is confusing to the women over here - who go to extremes to cover themselves and even use products to whiten their skin. But I like to think we're both learning from each other, ie: If you can't tone it, tan it??? I do my best to get in a daily workout - but all bets are off on the weekends. PLUS, I'm super hearting my oven and all I wanna make is cookies and brownies. Peter's never home when I get to bakin so that leaves me to lick the mixing bowl all myself... nothing a little tan won't hide... riiiiight?

Soooo, obviously I'm still in Kuwait and not in Htown. There have been some shake ups at Halliburton and they've postponed our trip. Shocker. I always get my hopes up just to be disappointed by 'the man'... whatevs, so I wasn't home for the 4th - sounds like there's been a cloud hovering over my hometown this month anyway so I guess I'm not missing much. Looking on the bright side, I'll be missing Ramadan by coming home in August rather than in July. During Ramadan almost EVERYTHING shuts down during the day and doesn't open up until the evening when Muslims break their fast. Eating, smoking and drinking (even agua) is illegal during daylight hours of Ramadan and if you're caught doing any of these things in public you can get thrown in the slammer for the remainder of Ramadan. <---that includes expats... sheesh...

No word yet on the actual date that I'll be returning, but Peter has promised me that even if his trip is postponed due to work that he'll send me home... God, I love my boss! ;-)

title credits to Mr. Patrick Lockerd ... very appropriate!

BABIES, BABIES, BABIEEEES!!!

WOW! I feel like everyone I know either has a baby, just had one, or is about to give birth to one! It's so exciting to find out what everyone's having and then to see the pics posted when they're actually here and SOO tiny! Precious little bundles of joy...

My mom has been giving me a full court press: 'I mean, everyone else is a Grandma...', 'All the other teachers talk about their grandkids...', 'I hope you guys are thinking about having a baby soon, you don't want to wait TOOOO long, Lydia!'

Sheeesh, I admit, Peter and I have knocked around the idea of having a baby over here. I've met several women who gave birth here in Kuwait and they said the accommodations were RIDIC. The Hyatt owns the private hotel and your room overlooks the Arabian Gulf... fancy schmancy...

During the 3 months that we've been here I've been lucky enough to get to spend butt loads of time with our friend's baby, Logan. He's so awesome and Peter and I have grown VERY attached to him! Look at that wittle face?!?!?!?! Sometimes I squeeze him too hard... I know this.

Bless Peter, he's like, 'Want one?' Me: 'Well suuuure, let's just swing by the store on the way home and pick one out! Were you thinking boy or girl?' I LOVE the idea of having a baby, don't get me wrong. But Peter isn't the one that will be waddling around for 9 months in a country where bayou booty can be expected as soon as you step out the door. Not to mention, I don't drive! If I'm going to have a baby over here I HAVE GOT to learn how to drive here... Which scares the duke out of me...

There's so much gear that goes along with having a baby too! You have to get the crib, the stroller, the car seat, clothes, toys, the little bouncy chair, they need a whole nother room for God's sake! I know, I know... It's totally worth it and other stuff... BUT, until you've moved everything you own across the world, I don't want to hear it. The fun thing about moving all our things over here and inventorying EVERY SINGLE ITEM is knowing that in 3 years you'll have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN! Barf... it makes me queasy just to think about it... SOOO, adding a third person to this equation that is guaranteed not to be able to pull their weight puts me off just a bit...

Plus, we have so many plans for travel while we're over here. *Sigh* But I DO live in a country where alcohol is illegal - it's like I'm pregnant right now without the payoff in 9 months... and I DO have my days free to wash tiny clothes and change poopy dipes... I already carry around a diaper bag for Peter (he calls it my purse, but whatever) containing his contact solution, glasses, eye drops, wallet, keys, receipts, bottled water, snacks - I suppose I could make some room for a few bottles and diapers.

Another concern is that I know myself... and I know my body. I'm going to BLOW UP when I get pregnant. I already eat like a growing boy and with the excuse that I've got another body to feed, who KNOWS how much I will consume!?! Scurrrry... I can't WAIT to let my belly hang out though, I think that's going to be the best part! Gooodbye spanks, HELLO expandable waist pants and tent tops!!

OK, but, we've only been married for like 4 months! I've made some big changes this year... having a baby would be like a quadruple whammy! And WHAT IF I HAD TWINS???? Because my sister and I are fraternal my mother has always told us there is a chance we could have twins as well... and that WOULD happen to me!? PERF - I just doubled the size of our fam in less than a year. We can kiss saving money out the window and I will morph into Kate Gosselin right before your eyes.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOOOOAAAA... my eyes just crossed for a second. I need a cup of coffee and to listen to the complete silence that surrounds me in my lonely apartment. All better... Sooo, obviously, I need to chew on this idea a little more. I love muh husband to isty bitsy pieces and thinking about having a little Peter pie really is so exciting, I just want it to be the right time for us, ya know?

it's what i do...

Peterpants and I have been in our new place for almost a month and we are L.O.V.I.N. it! It only took 3 hours for our things to pass through customs thanks to a few lines of flattery slung by muh husband and then the movers brought everything to our new location. We live in a hi-rise in Mahboula <----that's right, 'Crazy Lady' town... and I'm pretty sure we'll stay here for the entire 3 years. The movers brought in all the boxes and placed them in the appropriate rooms. I immediately began unpacking and they assured me that they would come back the next day to unpack everything and remove all the trash. Ummmm, this poor guy didn't know that I had just gotten married right before we left and that we were standing amongst boxes filled with gifts... buried treasure!!!!!

I stayed up all night and unpacked AND washed EVERY SINGLE piece of kitchenware that I own. Did you know that I have 42 pieces of stemware???? I didn't... But somehow I hold my head a little higher walking around Kuwait, just knowing that it's here... in my cabinets... waiting to be used...

I was pretty much on a roll after I finished the kitchen so I just barreled through the rest of the boxes and by the time the movers came in the morning I was standing neck deep in paper and cardboard with my hair in a knot on top of my head and YES... I was wearing the same thing they had last seen me in the day before, sans shower... But you see, I actually have 'work' to do now. I feel useful! Peter leaves the apartment in the morning and when he comes back I walk him around the house showing him what I've been doing all day. I'm quite handy really... I use tools, dammit.

OK... so I'm pretty much in a little routine now. I wake up with Peter and make him brekky and pack snacks for him and then I normally enjoy a cup of joe and some skype... It really is the perf time to chat b/c it's around 10pm or so in the states and most peeps are still up. After everyone goes to bed back home that's when I start my chores. I take numerous breaks to go sit in the maid's room and check on my 'juice'. Just a few more weeks my precious and you'll be swirling around in one of momma's beautiful stemmed glasses.

I actually need to post picts of the new place, but we don't have that much stuff up on the walls yet and I really don't want to post pics of her in the nude... It just wouldn't be right. The walls are concrete and the floors are all tile, so Peter and I literally have to SCREAM to communicate to each other in different rooms. We've given the bedrooms numbers now to make it easier. So when he's in the living room I can scream PEEEEEETER, BEDROOM 2, HELPPPPP! I don't know what it is about picking up more than I should - but I'm always trying. I'm one of those people that takes immense satisfaction out of carrying all the groceries from the car to the house in just one trip. All those deep indentions in my arms from the plastic bags will fade away, but I will bathe in the glory of my accomplishment as I heave the bags, step by step, to the kitchen; knowing this is the only trip I'll have to make. I'm being careful, I lift with my legs, blah, blah, blah... It's what I do, and I'm sure one day I'll pay the price... For example, my dogs have really taken a beating since moving into the new place. Standing all day on hard tile REALLY begins to hurt your feet. We did pick up a few rugs from Friday Market but we still need them in the kitchen - which is where I spend most of my time (insert barefoot, pregnant wife joke here).

The appliances here are FAB and you'll be proud to know that I can use ALL of them! No more crispy clothes for the Sidaroseseses... We FINALLY hung curtains the other night - sick of waking up with the piercing sun in our eyes - each room has an entire wall of floor to ceiling windows... that's a lot of curtains people!!! 16 panels to be exact... I hope we can use them again one day... Hmmmmmm, that reminds me, we still need curtains for the kitchen. Pooo! There's still so much to do.

We did get away to Jordan for a weekend with Nic and Jocy and OMG it was AWESOME! I posted pics on FB, but there are no words to describe the city of Petra or the experience of floating in the Dead Sea. Peter and I got in early on Thursday and landed in Amman - we found the bar like heat sensing missiles and bellied up. It's funny to see people's reactions when we tell them we're from Kuwait, they have this look in their eyes like 'i'm sorry' - I just nod and accept their pity... yes, feel bad for the American girl who has to cover up despite the booger drying heat with NO promise of a nice cold cocktail at the end of the day... Thank you bartender, I'll have another...

Friday morning we woke up early and took a 3 hour car ride out to Petra. We drove through the quiet desert and eventually reached the beautiful little city built right into the mountains. We had to hike several miles out to the city of ruins but it was worth every step. It gives you goosebumps (yea, even in the heat) to think about the people who actually lived here. I hope to go back to Jordan again just to walk Petra at night.

The walk out there wasn't all that bad, I mean it was in the middle of the day - but the weather was beautiful. HOWEVER, I walked all that way with the promise that we would be taking a carriage ride back... It seems I was the only one who remembered talking about that on the way OUT there and so the idea had been dismissed. I dragged my feet and sipped on water like I was being forced to walk through the desert, I fell behind several times and was super dramatic concerning my exhaustion - but the least Peter could have done was offer me a piggyback... just sayin...

So after our long haul we found a cozy little bar, affectionately called 'Cave Bar', to watch the World Cup and consume some empty calories. Publicized sports are of no interest to me, so I wandered around outside and played with a stray kitty. She was super friendly and she played with me for a long time. A waiter from the hotel moseyed over and asked me if she was mine... I feel bad for strangers that talk to me, I really do. In just minutes he had gotten the gist of my life story and then it was his turn. He was Jordanian and he had grown up in a cave. He described living with his family and how they got along out there until the government had built housing for them and they had moved into proper quarters. He actually preferred the simplicity of life out there, my eyes were like saucers, I was talking to a real-life cave man = AWESOME!

Saturday morning we woke up early, again, to take a 4 hour drive to the Dead Sea. We drove through the mountains and stopped several times for photo ops and potty breaks. Once we got to the Dead Sea Resort it was party time! We cocktailed in our room, by the pool, by the Dead Sea, back by the pool, in the hotel, back by the pool... it was lovely! Floating in the Dead Sea is the weirdest thing - it's the lowest point on Earth and the salinity is so overwhelming that nothing can live in it (hence the name). THANK GOD Peter reminded me not to shave or it would have been an unbearably painful experience. There were a few unlucky souls that entered the water with yelps and screams - poor ladies, talk about razor BUUUUURN!!! There was this one guy who ATE IT on the way down and his back was cut up from grating it down several steps. I asked him if he was OK and he looked me right in the eye and said, 'NO!'. I wasn't sure what to do after that... I thought 'Yes' was always the response when someone asked you if you were OK?? Kinda like when someone asks 'How are you?' and you reply with 'Good. How are you?' I winced when he got in the water... OUCH! :-(

Sunday was ANOTHER early day headed to the airport. Once we got home we both just crashed... Randomly napping and eating. There had been these noodles that I bought from the grocery store that you heat up in the microwave and then drain from the same container. I was so out of it that when I went to drain them the container came open and my precious noods fell right into the sink. I screamed for Peter and was borderline teary eyed - I really had my heart set on eating those thai noodles for dins. Peter saved the day and fished them out of the sink for me, rinsing them off, we added the sauce and I shoveled them in to my mouth. Well, Peter had been cleaning some bottles with this 'solution' earlier in the evening... and we're pretty sure that's to blame for the aftermath that ensued in the days that followed.

If you're still reading, you're probably a good friend of mine, and since I won't see your face for a long long time - I'm OK with sharing this story. I woke up the next day to a tummy that shot me the middle finger with a 'PEACE, I'm OUT'. I spent the next 3 days walking from the bathroom to the bed to the sofa to the bathroom, to the bathroom, to the bathroom, to the bathroom... Up until this point, Peter didn't think I ever used the bathroom, I mean, except for showering and getting ready and girly stuff... My cover had been BLOWN! The poop jokes got REALLY old after day 1, but no, Peter must have been stockpiling these b/c every time I returned from the bathroom he launched a new one at me. I researched on the internet, which literally scared the poo out of me, and found out that my intestines were not absorbing water. I was drinking 4.5 liters of water a day and was still dehydrated. I couldn't eat anything and was in excruciating pain. I really wanted my mommy!!

On a positive note, I lost 5 lbs! Every morning I would wake up and hop on the scale and yell to Peter that I had lost another 2 lbs... it was like Christmas there for about 2 mins standing on that scale, until my stomach realized that I was awake and it was time to let nature 'run its course' again... stupid noods...

I tried everything in the way of home remedies and even tried some meds from the quack shack. A friend of mine shared a home remedy that her family swore by - eating tea. That's right, steeping a tea bag for about 20 secs and then tearing open that little Lipton nugget and consuming its contents. I did it. I ate tea and it almost came back up... Nasty little trick, but it worked...

I'm all better now, but the poop jokes still haven't stopped. Pretty shitty if you ask me...

pity party, table for 1

Alllriight, it's been nice catching up on some much needed alone time, reading books, cooking, working out and watching movies. But I'm starting to feel like I'm in the movie Groundhog Day. It's been hard to spend this much time alone... I mean, I'm a twin for God's sake. I didn't even have the womb to myself.

It's hard not having a purpose over here (YET). I really don't have a reason to even get up in the morning. I actually lay there until my bladder screams at me and I'm forced to get out of bed or wet it... It's a morning routine. I don't wear any makeup over here unless I'm going out to dinner and even then it's very minimal, it's just going to melt off my face anyway. Soooo at least I'm saving on makeup applications (see, I'm being positive).

Our things arrived last Thursday, May 27th, so everything I own is sitting in this desert heat and all I can think about are those stupid candles that I never burned (WHYYY?) and how they're going to be a soupy mess once I start unpacking...

Another reason I might be a little cranky is b/c i started Insanity. If you don't know what it is, it's a workout that after you're finished you seriously want to cry. I curse the whole time and afterwards I flop over on the ground and lay in a pool of my own sweat, lovely... I try to engage in this activity while my hubs is at work.

On to more positive developments: We should be moving in this SATURDAY! (insert 'PARTY NOISE', clapping, deep lunge with alternating fist pumps, AMENS and HALLELUJAHS) But wait, there's more!!!!!! Guess who's comin home in a few weeks???? Ok, I'll give you another hint: Who has two thumbs, roots down to her earlobes and is rockin a SERIOUS tan right now? MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! Peter has to come home to complete some residency requirements and you bet your tooter he wasn't returning to the States without moi!

SOOOO, I'll be home for the 4th - and we can't WAIT to ENJOY all that Houston has to offer! Houston, don't get your feelings hurt, but we've been together for the last 28 years and I was ready for a change... I've realized the error of my ways and now Momma love you LONG LONG time!!!

Peter can only stay a week and we have A LOT to get accomplished, but I'll be staying behind for a few more weeks - b/c well, I don't have a job waiting for me and I MISS MY MOMMYYYY!!!

Since we're about to leave and I've spent the last 2 months in this apartment I've decided to do a little video montage of our first 8 weeks of marriage in corporate housing. KIDDING... I know, I know, I really should though...

But here are a few pics:

The couches here are orange... and most of the walls are lime green. Mind boggling. The couches were arranged in a very odd manner and not conducive to mine and Peter's lifestyle. It took me a month to come up with this glorious set up and it's been this way ever since.

The couches face the entertainment center and this horrible tiled extension that I hit my shin on rounding the corner almost EVERY day...

Our ginormous bed that Peter still manages to crowd me out of...

This thing weights 37 lbs... I have to use it to blow dry my hair and use any other electric contraptions. It makes a noise when I flip on the power switch that always makes me a little nervous... but this bad boy is legit!

Little baby kitchen...

Stupid oven that I never learned to use... I mean, what temp is 7?? I'm just saying...

Combo washer/aerator, I don't care what you say, this thing does not 'dry'!

Moving on to our dryer... guaranteed to make your socks stand up on their own.

I'll put some more picts up on FB, but you get the idea...

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

I’m reminded of a guy I shared an office with for about a year or so… He made up songs that I still sing to myself. We shared the same appetite for food and constantly snacked during the day. We had slim jims and coffee for breakfast, we both had intestines of steel. He had played college ball and had been so lucky as to marry his high school sweetheart, the cheerleader, who is now an OBGYN… I would vent on a daily basis about relationship issues and he would listen. He always gave me thoughtful advice and would dissect the actions of the person in question in a way that always seemed to mean that I deserved better. We got along well, but during deadlines his tardiness and jokes annoyed me… I would shoot him double stink eyes when he walked into our office late; his response: ‘I’m married… I eat those looks for breakfast’ (dropping his laptop bag into his chair and heading for the coffee machine).

Ahhhh, but what I remember most about him is that every day, EVERY day, we would overeat at lunch and come waddling back to our desks… complaining we should have mandatory nap time… discussing what we would have for dinner that would top the feast we just gorged on… and then, he would walk over to our blinds that lined an entire wall in our office, and without a pause in conversation he would take the cord and wrap it around his neck. He would hang his head to the side and stick his tongue out a little, close his eyes, and give the cord a little jerk… then, back to the desk and back to work… We both knew we had it good, awesome coworkers, awesome boss, awesome job… but there was just that one instant everyday that made you want to escape where you were and go somewhere else. Stop. Fast-forward about 3 years, a wedding and a move across the globe, I’m on a plane leaving Dubai and these stupid little window coverings have no cord… Poop…

Our trip to Dubai was just what I needed. I overindulged the entire weekend and I never once felt bad about it. We stayed with Nic and Jocy, two dear friends from high school that God so thoughtfully placed in Dubai about 4 months before we moved to the Middle East. The flight was only about an hour and a half from Kuwait, not even long enough to finish a movie. Peter and I hopped off the plane and went straight to the duty free shop to load up on the good stuff. I felt like a kid in a candy store!!! Peter headed straight to the scotch section while I was doing cartwheels down the rows and rows of wine filled shelves. I wanted to get a running start, slide on my knees with a straw in my hand all the way down the aisle and then pop that sucker into a boxed wine box and down it like a juice box!

There are no liquor stores in Dubai, and places that serve (fancy hotels and private clubs) charge you an arm and two legs for a cocktail. The only place you can really BUY bottles of booze is the airport, so we stocked up! The duty free shop allows 4 liters per person (liquor) OR 4 bottles of wine OR a case of beer. I totally over packed (shocker) and we wheeled our bags and duty free purchases around the airport until we could find somewhere to exchange our dinars for dirhams. Now, while our dollar is super weak in Kuwait, the dollar is worth much more in Dubai – but don’t be fooled, they jack the prices up on everything to compensate. We took a cab to their apartment – which is AWESOME! Check out the views from their balcony!

Yes, those are covered hot tubs on the balconies of the top floors!

Do you fancy a dip in the pocket pool while your dog enjoys the only patch of grass in the Desert?

There's still a TON of construction going on, much like Kuwait, but it has slowed down tremendously here in Dubai...

They gave us the grand tour and we enjoyed a couple drinks before hailing a cab to take us to our next destination. Our cab driver’s name was Jiggar and he was HILARIOUS! This guy was rocking a mullet and was all smiles. He was super friendly and let me take a pic with him, silly Americans… We stepped out of the cab and I could already hear the party! We paid a fee and walked through a gate and on to the patio portion of a hotel; the beach was just beyond it. We ordered a few drinks and then headed down to the beach. There was a huge stage built right on the sand equipped with a ginormous sound system and fluorescent lights. I felt like I was in a music video! Drink in one hand and sandals in the other; we wiggled through the crowd of dancing strangers and to an open area near the water. You could see the Palm and Hotel Atlantis a ways off… I can’t believe this place is REAL!!

I've GOT to get a better camera... but this is the best I can do for now...

Peter was thrilled to be drinking a label beer... the things we took for granted!

The next morning we headed to Dubai Mall, Peter should never let me loose in there on my own… It puts every mall in the world to shame. There was a huge fish tank right in the middle filled with sharks, fish and other underwater life – you can snorkel in it too! We bought tickets for the next morning to tour Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. It doesn’t really seem all that tall b/c it’s so skinny, but there was a feature in the gallery that placed Burj Khalifa in other cities around the world and, given the perspective, Burj Khalifa DWARFED all the other buildings. After grabbing a bite and walking around a bit, we took a cab to a Go-Kart place out in the desert. Peter and Nic drove while Jocy and I watched a race or two and then retreated to the A/C. We had plans to go to a party out on the Palm right after and I didn’t want to show up a stinky, sweaty mess.

Purdy fishees...

I swear we met the friendliest peeps on this trip. The hi-rise apartment we went to on the Palm was decorated straight out of a magazine and its adorable owner was the most gracious host. He mixed drinks, served food and blasted Madonna’s latest concert on DVD all night. Glass doors slid open to reveal a patio that overlooked the biggest swimming pool I’d ever seen and the beach. There were people swimming in the pool and they looked like little bugs, moving their little appendages and not seeming to get very far at all. I overheard one of Peter’s and Nic’s conversations with a Swedish dude at the party:

Peter: Yea, my wife and I just moved from Texas to Kuwait a few weeks ago.

New friend: WOW! Texas? You guys like LOVE Chuck Norris over there, huh?

Peter: (not taking this guy seriously) Yea, Chuck Norris can divide by zero…

Nic: Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. (Both Peter and Nic laughing at the hilarity of the situation)

New friend: (completely put off and totally confused) Really?? I thought Chuck Norris was a really big deal over there???

It was a late late night...

Peter and I barely made it to our tour of Burj Khalifa the next morning! I could describe this experience to you, but thankfully I found a post on YouTube that will do just that! Check it out!

Tour of Burj Khalifa on YouTube

I’m embarrassed to say that due to my overindulgence the night before, I lost my cookies once the tour was over. I was really hoping there was a bathroom I could have found IN Burj Khalifa b/c at least I could say that I threw up in the tallest building in the world, but I know Peter’s proud that I refrained until we reached the food court bathrooms in the mall… After our tour we met Nic and Jocy for a brunch marathon at the Movenpick Hotel. You are greeted with a glass of champagne and then the feasting BEGINS! (Pause: Lydia just put on her big girl panties!) There were stations set up all around the room and some nestled into corners. There was a crepe station, sushi bar, lobster, crab, shrimp, cheese station, bread station, Arabic food, Indian food, Chinese food, noodle station, dessert bar, fruit/salad bar… You name it they had it… We ate for 4 hours. It was beautiful.

We went to a party that night at the villa of a friend of Nic and Jocy’s. They had hot dogs and burgers AND margaritas!!!! It was like we were back in the states! Everyone assumed we were living in Dubai and when I shared in conversation that we were actually living in Kuwait I got some sympathetic ‘wow, how is that’s. A couple times I launched into the ‘cons’ list that I’ve been keeping track of in my head, but then after a few margaritas my response was just, ‘ohhhhh, you knowwwww, it’s different (head nodding, slurp margarita from sipping straw)’.

Our last day, we walked around the area where Nic and Jocy live and tried to decide on a restaurant. We settled for Italian, mmmm! After filling our bellies we headed back up to the apartment for a little movie/nap time. Jocy and I decided on ‘My Sister’s Keeper’ and Peter and Nic took bets on who would cry first. I don’t know who won the bet – but I looked like a ran freakin marathon after that movie was over! My tears had found their way down my neck and soaked the ring of my top… What a sad movie!!! I’m just glad I didn’t watch it on the plane!! :-/

Can you hear me now??

Dubai Airport

One for the road...

Peter and I took a silent cab ride to the airport… We were both super sad to leave our newly found desert oasis… I’ve been pouting for the last 2 weeks since returning from our trip. Staying in corporate housing was fun at first, but playing house for the last 6 weeks in a house that isn’t mine is getting a leeetle oldddd… Patience is a virtue, my tooter! COMEON FREIGHT SHIPMENT!!! LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE FREAKIN ROAD ALREADY!!!!!!!!

to market to market

You want tvs, stoves, cabinets and countertops?? Friday Market GOT YOU! You want watches, sunglasses, purses and bags?? Friday Market GOT YOU! You want custom made clothing of any kind or just yards and yards of fabric?? Friday Market GOT YOU! You want socks, shoes, dresses or jewelry?? Friday Market GOT YOU! You want dishes, pots, pans, tools, furniture, cushions, toys, filters, perfume or paintings?? Friday Market GOT YOU! You want a pink or green baby chick or a baby bunny in a dress?? FRIDAY MARKET GOTTTT YOUUUUU!!!!

Peter snapped the pic too soon, but you shoulda seen some of the hot numbers they had on display...

Friday Market was everything I thought it would be and more than I wanted to see. This place is in the middle of the desert and tables and tables of products line walk ways for what seems like miles! Because it’s outside the sellers are constantly brushing dust and sand off the items with a big brush that looks a bit like a broom… Only to fly up in the air and land on their other items or those of their neighbor… ANYTHING you would possibly buy in a store can be found at the Friday Market (which is actually open on Thurs as well). We browsed for hours and totally got turned around like 5 times. The only thing I really wanted was a rug, they’re freakin MASSIVE and surprisingly affordable! Once we move into our place we’ll make the trip back out there to pick up our dusty ginormous treasure. There are peeps with wheelbarrows that follow you around waiting for you to buy more than you can carry hoping to make a little money by hauling it back to your car. I saw men carrying couches stacked four feet high with cushions on their BACKS… The whole place really is a sight to see… There was one area that we didn’t visit though – on purpose, actually… and that was the animal market. We did venture out to see the birds and bunnies but I was told if I was an animal lover NOT to go see the dogs/pets.

The birds were loud, dirty and in cages that were either round or square. The birds in the round cages continuously ran in circles, squawking, screaming and flapping their wings. When I say birds, I mean fowl: chicken, roosters, ducks, doves, turkeys, geese, eagles, and any bird you would otherwise want to own as a pet or take home for supper. There were some that were so crowded in the cages that others were being trampled. The birds in square cages pecked at each other and you could see several areas on their bodies where feathers no longer grew b/c of the scarring. Seeing the birds caged up was enough to convince me that I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing the pups… I’ve only heard stories about how terrible the conditions are and they’re enough to make you tear up. They had baby chicks and bunnies in the area that we were at. The chicks had been dipped in food coloring and looked like a handful of tropical skittles in their little cages. They huddled together and didn’t move much, same with the bunnies – who were clothed in dresses or little tops and bloomers. I picked up one of the bunnies that wasn’t caged and it just clung to my hand, I asked the man how old they were and he confirmed they were only weeks old… MUCH too young to be taken from their mommas!

I’m not sure why they dye the animals, but my reasoning is that children will see them and beg for their favorite color. They do this with the dogs too. And how am I supposed to resist a poor dehydrated little purple puppy???? We all agreed that we had seen enough and we headed back towards the car… on our way out we passed several dead animals that had been tossed from their cages and left to rot in the desert. A little boy that couldn’t have been more than 11 or 12 sat under a tree holding a rooster by its wings while he squawked about and kicked his clawed feet. He was smoking a cigarette and had a big scratch down his nose, dangerously close to his eye; that was bleeding. I couldn’t imagine living the life of some of the children that grow up around the markets, the things they’ve seen! Most of them are Bedouins and live in tents in the desert, breeding animals and selling them in various markets. We didn’t go look at any of the other animals they had, but there are sheep, goats and many others available for purchase.

After walking around in the hot sun for so many hours, I went ahead and shed my sweater. I decided if I offended someone that much they could just come right up and tell me… no one did, but I caught some stares, well worth it.

I’ve been looking for a pumice stone for a while now, in my opinion, they should hand you one immediately upon landing in Kuwait. Everyone here wears sandals and no one seems to care that their heels are cracking and dry!? I finally found one and could not WAIT to get home and use it! I had no idea that while using this treasure I would experience a very real brush with death. Let me just note that I don’t even use the hot water here, the ‘cold' water is hot enough right now so I shower with the faucet on ‘cold’. While I was showering Peter was outside by the pool enjoying a cup of coffee and some shisha with our neighbor and one of his coworkers. I was really taking my time and enjoying the pumice on heel action when I lost my footing… I threw the stone in the air and wildly began flapping my arms in order to regain my balance. I swear this all happened in slow motion (again, a GREAT place to insert some background music). I grasped on to the shower curtain and hugged it tight. I slid down the curtain slowly and was able to regain my footing before we had noggin to porcelain contact. WHEWWWWW!!!! Two things went through my mind: (1) That is sooooome shower curtain! It’s made of fabric and it did tear a bit where it’s suspended from the rod, but it held my weight! (2) I am never showering without Peter IN the apartment again!