Sunday, March 27, 2011

sandbox. in my house.


Peter and I have been super lazypants lately and I've been loving it. We watched movies ALL day on Friday and didn't even look outside until around 7 or so at night after we decided to go out for dins. Ummmm, I couldn't even see the street... Here are a few vids of the sandstorm rolling in:




OBVIOUSLY going out was not an option and no one was delivering. I really haven't been in the mood to clean lately, which is why I've been avoiding cooking dinner... what a laugh. This ginormous freaking sandstorm turned my apt into a sandbox and completely ruined my lazy fri. 

The windowsill in our bathroom...

Awesome... did i mention i really haven't been in the mood to clean??


bathroom sink... i suppose i should have left Peter a note instead of drawing a squiggle...

Our hallways looked like they were full of smoke and it smelled like chalk everywhere. UGGGGH!! Every single thing in our apartment now has a dusty film covering it and our maid doesn't come until Mon. I've only cleaned the areas that we use the most (kitchen, bedroom, bathroom), so everything else just has squiggles like u see above... BOO!  This has supposedly been the worst sandstorm in Kuwait since about 8 years ago so I'm hoping we don't get one that bad again... at least while we're here for the next 2 years...

If we do, I'll most certainly be forced to make sand angels on our living room floor...


Sunday, March 13, 2011

100 things about me

So, i haven't blogged in what feels like forever. No, i'm not super busy... In fact, I feel that i'm rather boring and who wants to read about what i really do around this apartment all day by myself.  I feel like I'm losing touch with some of my friends back home... not all of them, you know who you are... Checking email and responding takes up a good bit of my morning and I quite enjoy it.  I normally wake up at 5am Sun-Thurs (this is the standard work week here in Kuwait) to make muh hubs brekky, coffee, and pack his lunch. I'm like his mom and i love it. It's fun to play house! I do his laundry too... not because I love it... b/c apparently that's part of the 'job'. Yes, I have a job, it's called being a housewife, pay is shitty but my hours are flexible and my boss is great.

Anypoops, I thought I'd update my long lost friends and post a few things 'About Me'. Maybe I'll even make some new friends? Who knows... the world wide web is amazing and I've met some of my closest friends here in Kuwait through this genius tool. Here goes nothing...

1.  I'm PREGNANT! way to get the ball rolling, eh?? ;-) 

2.  I'm 16 weeks and we're expecting a girl! 

3.  I've known it was a girl since I peed on the stick... just didn't have the heart to tell muh hubs until he insisted it was a boy and made an expensive bet with a friend (which we consequently lost).

4.  I've been wearing maternity pants since week 7 and I'm seriously thinking about incorporating these into my normal wardrobe even after I've had all my children and I'm no longer of 'child bearing age'.  Who needs zippers and buttons??

5.  I only look pregnant after big meals, which makes me sad... but I know my belly will pop out any day now and then i'll wish i could still see my feet and shave properly.

6.  We picked out our children's names before we ever got pregnant. Berkley Ann for a girl, Jacob Peter for a boy.

7.  I tend to be very longwinded. I laugh sometimes at my own email responses... they look like novels.

8.  I'm a little obsessed with my Peterpants. b/c i have all the time in world to ponder things and b/c he's the only person that i see every morning and every night, i tend to watch his habits closely.  He's fascinating.

9.  I love cooking and baking. 

10. We're stockpiling wine for after Berkley is born. We have to make it... which is really the biggest tease.

11.  I'm going to have Berkley here in Kuwait.  I'm aware this means my child will never become President. I'm OK with that and I hope she forgives me.

12.  I put 4 different kinds of lotions on after every shower. I realize it's a bit much. But there's the eye cream, the face cream, the stretch mark prevention lotion, and then the yummy scented one that I use for the remainder of my body that has not already been treated to previous lotioning...

13.  I went 5 months without cutting or dying my hair last year and I'm wondering how long I can go this year before I cave.

14.  I have a maid that comes once a week and I clean the house before she gets here...???

15.  I used to love working out and now I hate it... I went 3 months without a workout and was doing just fine until I came across a pic of myself on a friend's facebook page of my butt eating my bathing suit.  I immediately shut my laptop, changed, and launched into my 'Brazilian Butt' workout. I couldn't sit down or walk properly for 5 days after that and I've since taken up walking.

16.  I have Morton's Neuroma.  It's this pretty awesome foot problem that makes me feel like an old lady and inhibits me from sporting sexy footwear. 

17.  There isn't enough room in our bed for me, Peterpie and my body pillow. Instead of buying a bigger bed, we bought a couch. Now we both fall asleep on the couch and my body pillow gets the bed to herself... 

18.  Peter woke up the other day and thought he was rubbing my butt but was ACTUALLY rubbing the body pillow... I think about this while I'm walking...

19.  Going to the grocery store is my favorite thing to do. It takes me hours. Contrary to what muh husband thinks, I do NOT do this to torture him.

20.  I don't have a car here in Kuwait and i'll do anything to avoid driving in this country. So far, so good.

21.  I hate brussel sprouts and okra and I will never force my child to eat them. 

22.  I have a very high tolerance for pain but feel the need to make groaning noises that would suggest otherwise.

23.  Giving myself a manicure and drinking out of a long stemmed glass can pretty much fix any bad day.

24.  My vision is terrible I can't see the alarm clock without putting on my glasses. 

25.  I love making lists. Sometimes I add things on my to-do list that I've already done just so I can cross them off.

26.  I can't wear lipstick b/c I lick my lips too much and I've always wanted to wear it.  On the occasions that I do, I feel like a lady but I don't recognize myself in pictures. 

27.  I like toilet paper to come from the top of the roll, not the bottom (no pun intended).

28.  I'm not a very effective swimmer. A lifeguard once blew her whistle incessantly at me in Galveston b/c I was too close to the rocks.  When she felt I wasn't responding to her whistle she decided to swim all the way out to yell at me.  She thought I was swimming away from her and didn't believe that I had been paddling away from the rocks the whole time.  Good thing she brought a life raft, I was exhausted...

29.  I'm the oldest child in my family. Yes, I'm a twin, but I was born first.

30.  Being on time is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I'm working on not holding others to my own standards.

31.  My one year wedding anniversary is next week!

32.  I need a pay raise... I plan on asking for one during my annual review next week.

33.  Peter and I both like leftovers. I can understand if you don't want to finish ur meal b/c ur full... WHAT? u don't want to take home the rest for later???!!! Mind if i do??

34.  My friends crack me up! I laugh out loud thinking about them sometimes and I love it!

35.  I volunteered 2 years in a row at the rodeo and only went to one show. 

36.  My sense of direction is turrrible.  It has worsened since marrying Peter, now I just call him and ask him where i'm going...

37.  I quit biting my nails 8 years ago.  I still give myself pats on the back for breaking that habit.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done.

38.  I have 4 sisters and no brothers. 

39.  I love snuggling.

40.  Being cold makes me physically angry.  My whole body tenses.  I grit my teeth.  I shake uncontrollably.  I HATE being cold.

41.  My twin sister and I used to fight like boys.  We haven't hit each other since we were 16 years old when we had an embarrassing fight in front of my mother's side of the family at a reunion.  

42.  I don't know anything about football or soccer, despite being explained the rules countless times. It's not you, it's me.

43.  I wish I enjoyed doing ANYTHING as much as Peter loves playing soccer. OR I wish I had something similar I could torture him with. 

44.  I miss disposable cameras. It was always a treat getting film developed. I'd love to see the photos that people delete off of their digitals.

45.  I got a new freckle last year.  It's on my forehead and its been annoying me for the last 8 months.

46.  Never made a list like this before... can't believe I'm not even half way done!

47.  LOVE reading celeb mags, it's mindless. 

48.  I haven't had cable for 6 months but take away my internet and I'd lose it.

49.  I only like playing games that I'm good at. I am not a sore loser.

50.  When I was little I was obsessed with candy.  I would sort it by color and shape and I kept it in bead boxes in a lunch box.  I wouldn't eat it, just stare at it.  I still wonder why I did this...

51.  We don't have a bath tub here in Kuwait. Only showers. This breaks my heart.

52.  My sisters and I used to make music videos when we were younger.  The last one I made I was 26.

53.  I have a very real fear of public speaking.  My neck gets splotchy and my hands and feet sweat.

54.  I almost cried the last time we went through security at the airport.  I forgot I was carrying my make-up bag and they confiscated my tiny scissors. I use them for everything and life hasn't been the same without them.

55.  I still poke my husband on facebook.

56.  My favorite food is hamburgers.  Plural.

57.  I've never baked a lasagna.  I don't know why?? 

58.  I hosted my very first Thanksgiving here in Kuwait last year without my family and I realized even with all the trimmings, it's not Thanksgiving unless you're with your family.

59.  I don't know where I would be without my amazing husband, but I know I wouldn't be in Kuwait. 

60.  My favorite TV shows are Modern Family, Cougar Town and any reality show.  I boycotted Jersey Shore when it first came out and now I wish I was friends with Snooki.

61.  I'm very picky about my eggs.  There's a very small margin for error in my opinion.

62.  Math and English were my favorite classes in school.  History and science were my nightmares.

63.  I tend to repeat myself if I don't think you're listening.

64.  Telling me NOT to do something only ensures that I will... It's very childish of me.  I know.

65.  I LOOOOOOOVE condiments. The more the merrier.

66.  Most of my embarrassing stories occurred while I was in college and if I've had a few drinks and you're a girl and you ask me four times, I might tell you...

67.  I'm a hopeless romantic.  I cry at movies.  I'm probably the sappiest person you will ever meet.  

68.  I can touch my tongue with my nose.  It's not really that impressive... I think my nose and mouth are closer together than normal.

69.  It's very difficult to surprise me but I love surprises. 

70.  I used to fall asleep watching BET when I was in college. 

71.  I stuck a bead up my sister's nose when we were little b/c she said I could do anything I wanted to her if I ate her broccoli.  It got stuck.  Not my fault.  I still don't understand why I got in trouble.

72.  I have the worst memory when it comes to remembering movie lines. I always screw it up.

73.  I have the guiltiest conscience in the world.  I used to tell on myself all the time.

74.  I just learned how to burp about a year and a half ago.  

75.  I've been told I make the best sandwiches.  Wish I could make good money just making sandwiches.

76.  I don't have any tattoos.  My friends think i chickened out when we all went like we planned after turning 18.  I just don't like anything enough to have it on my body for the rest of my life.  Well, maybe hamburgers...

77.  I LOVE laying out but HATE being in a bathing suit.  I'm always trying to find ways around that one...

78.  I've never dialed 911 but I always wanted to.

79.  A famous rapper once dialed my mom's downstairs line on accident when I was in high school.  I didn't believe he was who he said he was so he invited me to watch him record an album.   3 white girls trekked to Downtown Houston and I'm still amazed 3 made it back...

80.  I'm VERY bad at hiding my emotions... If I could have one super power...

81.  Spiders, snakes and heights scare the BEJEEZUS out of me. 

82.  I knew Peter loved me when he came over and watched 4 hours of a 'So You Think You Can Dance' marathon and made up an excuse to leave.  When he came back, I recorded the episodes he missed and, bless his heart, he watched those too...

83.  I love to pick.  I was really disappointed to find out u only get chicken pox once.

84.  I don't shop often, but when i do, i shop HARD.

85.  I throw like a girl and I have very bad aim. :-/

86.  I wish I would have thought of Facebook. Seriously.

87.  Since becoming pregnant, I've never noticed so many ill-behaved children. Dear God, give me the strength to PUNISH!

88.  I cut my my eyelashes when I was 8 b/c my friend said it would make them grow longer. She also told me if I squeezed peanuts really hard in my hand they would become peanut butter.  We're no longer friends and my eyelashes are stubs.

89.  I cried so hard over my first break up that I gave myself a nose bleed. I remember seeing the blood and thinking my mom was full of it when she said a broken heart won't kill u.

90.  God works in mysterious ways. Period.

91.  I have a hard time controlling my facial expressions when I talk... b/c of this, I know I will have wrinkles and deep lines on my forehead.  I use preventative cream religiously.

92.  I love sharing, but hate sharing my clothes.  I miss them when they're gone.

93.  Where do pillows come from?? I've had the same pillows for as long as I can remember, I'm pretty sure I was issued one at birth, but I have no idea where all the others came from. I've never bought a pillow that wasn't decorative.

94.  Have you ever laughed so hard you peed ur pants?? I have. It's terrible. 

95.  If I could do high school over I would eat more ham and cheese croissants and fresh baked cookies. They were THE best.

96.  I have a lot of respect for anorexic people.  It's not the disorder I admire, it's the willpower to not eat food. Impossible!

97.  I thought when I moved to Kuwait I'd build sandcastles all the time and do hot yoga outside... I still haven't done either.

98.  Kitchen gadgets are my guilty pleasure.  

99.  I heart dancing. 

100.  A smile goes a REALLY long way with me.

That's all for now. :-)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Adios Kuwait - 2010


*Note: New Year's Resolution = fail. This was written Dec. 16th in the airport on my way home for Christmas. Howevs, I had no internet and subsequently forgot about this post until I returned to Kuwait. Ooooops.... :-/




K, so I’m in Dubai… 6-hour layover until we board the plane destined for Htown. Peter made big talk about having cocktails and really tying one on before the 17 hour trek, but what is he doing right now??? He’s grabbing some Zs… yea… IN THE BAR… and me?? I’m waiting on this chick to bring me another vodka and rubbing my hammertoe. Yea, I took my shoes off. IN THE BAR. Whatever. I tried to be cute and wear boots (no heel) and now my dogs are paying for it.

I made a few New Year’s Resolutions. One is to blog at least once a week. I think it’s good for me. You know…. Just to sit down and let my brain vomit all over the World Wide Web. It’s therapeutic. And maybe I won’t lay awake at night like I have been for the last several weeks.

So, first things first… what I’ve been up to… well, since my last blog I’ve taken a few trips, made a LOT of ice, spent an ungodly amount of time in my bathrobe, cooked my tooter off (that includes my very 1st Thanksgiving dinner, thankyouverymuch), schooled some foreigners in flip cup and beer pong and have developed a very inappropriate relationship with cookies.

WHERE’S MY VODKA?? Sheesh, these people have no urgency… anypoops. I should have blogged about this weeks ago, but I attended my very 1st Kuwaiti wedding! Since I arrived in Kuwait EVERYONE has told me that if I ever have the opportunity to attend a Kuwaiti wedding that I MUST. So. I did. And let me tell u… it was completely OVER THE TOP. I mean, I got muh hurr and make up did (all profesh, thanks Libra!), wore a gown and STILL managed to feel completely underdressed…. The décor was fab and the ladies rivaled the most dazzling drag queens I’ve ever seen, but somehow, they’ve managed to suck the life out of all things wedding related that I simply adore!

OMG, WHERE’S MY VODKA?? This is ridiculous…  I’m parched! How can Peter be sleeping with the stupid loud airport announcements every few minutes? He amazes me! K, back to the wedding. First, the ladies have a separate reception from the men. So basically, I got all dressed up to prance around in front of. Ladies. Oh, and by prance, I mean walk a catwalk and wave to myself… Yea, that’s how it’s done here. I mean, I really like to shake it. I get down at weddings. I bust out moves I didn’t even know I had… I mean, it’s a WEDDING, a CELEBRATION, time to break it down proper. But no… there was no Kanye, no Beyonce, no Rihanna… just some chick singing in Arabic with her mouth practically pressed right on to the microphone… cool, I don’t know this jam… but I’ll play along. The seats are like stadium seating, picture bleachers of women on both sides of a room with a catwalk down the middle leading to a platform with 2 ‘thrones’ on it <----- oh, those are for the bride and groom??? Ooops…. So my friends and I danced. We blended in, oh ‘cept for the hair and light skin and…come on… we weren’t fooling anyone. But all the ladies were so friendly and took my hand and we danced/pranced down the catwalk. I fought the urge to bust out a ‘funky chicken’ halfway down the stage. Minor prob, I could NOT control my facial expressions… It was like I was in drill team all over again… open mouth, big smile, over exaggerated enthusiasm…. I realized I hadn’t been on a stage in a decade…  Which is funny, bc the whole point of this catwalk extravaganza is to show off in front of potential mother-in-laws and show what kind of goods u have to offer her son… weird. I was able to suppress the facial spasms by just looking down at the floor and continuing to wave at myself. I’d post pics, but they have wedding Nazis at the door that probe ur purse for cameras and phones. God forbid any of the ladies are captured on film without their abayas on. Respect. I would have uploaded those straight to FB… good call wedding Nazis… good call.

MMMMMMmmmmm, Vodka cran…. Just what I wanted. Thanks lady. So yea, to answer ur question, I totally rocked an abaya. I want to wear it everywhere now. I thought I couldn’t leave the house in my bathrobe, but now, I totally can…

All the ladies were dressed so completely over the top that I found myself starring, which is considered rude where I’m from…. But they starred right back so fekkit. The hair!!! OMG, was there a beach ball in there??? The makeup!!!! Did a circus master apply that??? Unbelievable, but strangely intriguing… what I found so sad is that these ladies went to all this effort and there were no men there to oogle them… to tell them they looked smokin’ and drop cheesy lines to make them blush. Such a shame, really…. The no alcohol thing really drained the urge to party. I realized they’ve managed to take just about all the fun out of attending a wedding when I saw the buffet.  It didn’t open until midnight, for one. For two, ur given a plate and a spoon… then, it’s a free for all. Ladies literally take their spoon and sample a dish and if they like it, they help themselves… if not, on to the next chafing dish. Oh my pukey pants…. Libra and I piled some stuff on our plates just to participate and then gingerly abandoned them at a table that was already overloaded with dirty dishes.

Let’s review: No alcohol, no ‘dancing’, no sit down dinner, no ceremony (at least guests aren’t invited for that part), no cameras…. No men…. Oh, except for the time when the groom and his entourage enter and ‘dance’ down the catwalk towards his wife (this is the very first night she’ll spend in her new home, which happens to belong to her in-laws…. exciting, right?). They throw money in the air and make all kinds of noise and hand gestures, all amidst a sea of black. All the ladies are warned before the men enter. Abayas are donned and there is no sequin, sparkle or cleavage to be seen.  After the groom sits next to his bride (God, I still feel bad for the poor thing), the men leave and it’s back to tramping it up down the catwalk.  All in all, it was an interesting night. But if it wasn’t for Meg, Libra and Jen and those 4 bottles of wine we had before the leaving the house, I’m not sure I would have enjoyed myself.

WOW… my husband sleeps like a CHAMP! Every now and then he wakes up and realizes there’s a beer in front of him and he takes a big gulp and then back to sleep… I should take a pic… one moment please. Bless him’s heart…


Ok, just 2 more hours and I’m on my way home… I can’t wait to see Christmas trees/lights! Cold weather! Fam and friends!

Here’s to a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all the loved ones in my life. I’m signing off to do my best to induce some kind of alcohol related drowsiness before I embark on this plane ride.

Cheers!